Couch Arrest

MIA - I feel like I've been fighting the urge to blog. Like I'm in denial about my situation being what it is. Day three. I'm so glad that my mom has been our only house guest these last few days. Michaels congestion never cleared up after the RSV diagnosis but he did get a little better before Christmas. We were able to see the family and enjoy the holidays before things got worse again.






Michael was doing a little better but still hadn't improved the way I thought he should have so I scheduled him an apt for the 28th. He had his next Synagis shot that morning and everything was pretty good other than his congestion. We then went to his pediatrician to see if he could get caught up on any of the shots he's been so behind on. His oxygen at that point was only at 84. They were going to send us to get X-rays because his lungs still sounded pretty cruddy but since his oxygen was so low they ended up sending us to the hospital instead. We were able to drive ourselves which was good and bad. We ended up waiting in the ER for two hours before being taken back to see a Dr. Michael was feeling better in the waiting room and wanted to play so bad with the other kids. In my head I was screaming because it was so packed with sick people. I didn't want him to get worse but I also felt horrible not letting him down to play. Jaron to the rescue! He got a little red wagon and set up his laptop with a movie for Mike. Yay for containment! Once we saw the Dr his oxygen was back up and he'd fallen asleep. We went back for X-rays and this is the first time ever that he's slept through them. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and we were sent home with antibiotic to fight it off. WOW! This kid catches everything.

Again, he was doing better other than some congestion so back to the pediatrician we went. I've been hoping to get him caught up on his vaccines. He's now 21 months old and still hadn't gotten his 12 month vaccines because he's been so sick. He got 6 shots that day. The champ is back! He cried for a moment but then just wanted to play. The hardest part of getting him his shots was getting his band-aids off. Of course now, a week after his shots he's been running a 103.5 fever for the past three days. It only drops when he's doubled up on Tylenol and Ibuprofen at the same time. If I let them wear off at all his fever just jumps back up. Getting the dishes done or the floor swept is an accomplishment when he's sick. Putting him down isn't an option. He works himself up so bad that he starts coughing and then throws up. I'd rather it not get to that point. So here we are. Mike asleep on my chest. Me laying on the couch, Zoey making messes with her "experiments" (She's so awesome) and My Little Ponies on in the background. Home sweet home. Doctoring up my guy in the comfort of my own home is a prize in itself. I'm so thankful that I can fight off this fever at home. A blessing in disguise.


With blessings surrounding us daily we forget the biggest blessings we've been given. The strength we've found in ourselves and the happiness we have with our kids. Whether healthy or sick, we still have our kids to love and hold and play with. I'm so thankful to have been blessed with these two amazing spirits that challenge and change me daily (for the better of course!)

Never-ending Story

Week three of illnesses that just keep coming. I had started a draft after Michaels last Cardiology appointment. The first sentence started out as "Michael is doing awesome!!". Now.... I'm not able to start this entry the same way.

At our last Cardiology visit I was extremely emotional. After the visit three months ago I was positive that the pressure in Michaels heart had gotten worse and that we were about to talk about his next surgery. On the way there I realized how unprepared I was. I sat and had a nice cry before going into Children's so that I would have less tears for the doctors.

We started with his ECHO and went on with all his vitals. I was surprised that he'd gained weight because he's still so skinny. He's now 22lbs! Almost a pound for every month he's had since his birth.
I was amazed at his other results. The pressure behind his Mitral valve had not gone up but instead had stayed the exact same! What?! I was shocked and thrilled and so happy. I couldn't believe it. The pressure for the last six months has been at a 13. Once this number reaches 15 is when we'll need to talk surgery.

We were referred to the Syanagis clinic again this year. Michael is eligible until the age of 2. We went in a few weeks ago on Monday for his shot (rsv antibodies to help fight the virus). By Friday night we went to Children's emergency room with a 105℉ fever. We were admitted that evening as he needed some extra oxygen and only ended up staying the night. We were released the next day with oxygen for at home use. He's been doing good at home as long as we can keep his congestion down. I had high hopes that we were at the end and now we're dealing with a stomach bug. I'm now washing bedding for the second time to get rid of the throw up. After his bath he fell asleep on me whispering "owie, owie". Poor thing. Hoping this passes before Christmas. I want him to have the energy to play with his presents. I love the holidays. Thank you to everyone for your help this last year. It's been a long and amazing journey. I'm so blessed to have the friends and family that I do. Merry Christmas and God bless us... Everyone.

To Sleep or Not to Sleep

Im laying here at 2 in the morning waiting for our next round of Motrin to kick in.
I'm becoming rather skilled in the art of fighting fevers. As I wait for his fever to break I begin my habit of counting heart beats. I can now lay my palm face down on the left side of his chest and feel his heartbeat clearly enough to get an approximate heart rate. I don't know if this has anything to do with his enlarged atrium or not. He fights me off when trying to feel his pulse any other way.

I can't believe it's been about 6 months since we've had a hospital stay. It starts to feel as if it's all going away until Michael starts feeling under the weather again. In these last 6 months Michael's gotten a virus about once every two months. This is actually relieving to me as it's no longer once a month.

We have our next cardiology visit coming up on the 19th of this month. Anxiety and fear become more prominent the closer these appointments get. Emotions in Jaron and I have been heightened recently as we've realized the reality of surgery within this next year. So much is unknown until we get the results of his exams. We know the pressure behind his valve was worse during his last visit in August. Because of that they wanted to see him back in three months instead of the six month break they were hoping for. If the gradient through his valve reaches closer to 20 then our cardiologist will begin meeting with our surgeons to decide the least risky route to take. At our last visit his gradient was at a 14 so we're hoping it's not too much worse than that now.

Michael has so much energy right now that he's hard to keep up with. He wants to be doing whatever everyone else is and if Zoey has it - he's going to get it. That's what seems to be his mindset anyway. We recently found that he is lactose intolerant so he's been on almond milk for the last few months. It's expensive but it keeps him happy and gives him what he needs. 

We got some really exciting news this last week for one of our other heart warriors and his family. A successful valve replacement without having to do an open chest surgery. This procedure was done through the groin and the recovery time was incredible. I can't believe how strong this kid is. Mason you're amazing and your family is amazing! Way to go! This has given me hope that if Michael holds on long enough that a procedure like this could become more of an option than an open heart surgery. 'Crossing our fingers'

With Halloween already over with I wanted to post some more up to date pictures as I haven't posted any in a while. Here is a look into our Halloween with Michael. His first Trick-or-Treat was a success. After the first house we hit gave him a sucker he decided that was all he needed. We got about ten more houses in before it was too cold and windy to continue. Our Ninja Turtles got their sweet fix and Jaron and I had a late night since Michael was up on a sugar high. Happy late Halloween!!

Living Life

How great is it that we've been able to take advantage of this time with Michael. We've been able to take advantage of the healthy little boy we brought into our family just over a year ago. Not knowing if we'd be able to ever see him this happy and energetic.







Today we are battling fevers and coughs at home. We are also going on week three of congestion. Let me tell you how this usually goes -

Day 1: Congestion/Runny Nose - I freak out and go in to battle the congestion. Like this - Saline spray, bulb sucker, mentholatum on feet w/ socks and percussion therapy on his back.
Day 2: Congestion/Cough - Still battling congestion
Night 2: Michael wakes up with fever at about 9pm, starts grunting and can't breathe, we call an ambulance.



We get admitted and stay for a week with oxygen and deep suctioning. When Michael begins to run a fever his heart starts working over time. His heart rate rises to around 170-180 when he's calm and asleep and its gone up to 220 when he was getting angry and worked up. His normal heart rate is around 100-120. This happens about every two months since Michael came home from the hospital after his surgery. We are blessed to have the insurance that we do that helps so much with the ambulance rides. The two times we went in on our own we ended up in the waiting room for an hour and in the back room for another hour only to be admitted the next morning. The ambulance ride ensures that the cardiac unit will be waiting for us and that they are already aware that Michael is making another appearance.

This time I battled congestion as usual and also used the help of some essential oils that helped delay the fever for about two weeks. He hasn't been grunting or having problems breathing so I'm crossing my fingers that we get through this one without needing the hospital and oxygen.







As long as we keep the fever down we should be good with the rest. So far so good.


This last month has been fun and a struggle at the same time. Before Michael got sick we had his first visit to the zoo and the Denver Aquarium with his Great Grandma that lives out of town. It was great having her with us and we had a great time watching Michael enjoy life. Just after this Jarons car broke down so we are down to one car for the moment which hasn't been too bad. I didn't think we could do it but, seriously, what can't we do? Right? Before Michael got sick we got some bad news that our 5yr old Pit/Lab mix had gotten lymphoma. The vet assured us that even with chemo we'd only be buying him about a year and that year would be quantity of life over quality and she couldn't stress that he'd start getting more uncomfortable and more painful. We came to the decision that we needed to let him go instead of have him struggle through. We were able to love on him for a few more days after that very difficult decision and we've been at peace. Zoey's also made us aware that she'd like to play in the clouds with him. She is a little jealous that he gets to play in the sky and that she doesn't. This is something neither me or Jaron were ready to deal with but we feel stronger for having to experience the pain and emotion that came with it.

               - On a happier note -

Michael also just got his first hair cut. Bye bye Baby Michael and Hello Godzilla! Haha - Just Kidding - Hello to this big kid that I didn't realize was hidden in that hair. These kids make my heart beat faster and harder the more my love grows for them - and the faster they get. <3

My Poor Baby

 

Back at Children's - Sunday morning Michael started running a low fever and had a minor cough so we decided to start treating it with Tylenol and keeping him home so that he wouldn't get any worse. Tuesday his fever spiked to 103, he started shivering then turned purple on his hands and feet and then he passed out. I called the ambulance and on the way to Children's his fever spiked higher to 104.9. Once we were in the ER he slept comfortably on my chest but again started to feel hot. At this point his fever had gone up to 105.3. There was originally talk from the paramedics that he may have had a seizure from the fever at home because we had described the shivering. The doctors and cardiologist at Children's feel confident that it was not a seizure and that this little guy was just really sick. I agree.

We were admitted shortly after we arrived so that they could monitor Michaels rhythm for the night. The next morning lo and behold - I got sick. Jaron came to switch me and it snowballed from there. I got worse - then Michael got worse. He is still having episodes where his fever spikes to 104-105 and then his limbs turn purple and they don't know why. The x-rays show signs of bacterial pneumonia so he is being treated with antibiotic and fluids. He can only drink apple juice and water (and that with the antibiotic you can only imagine how sore is bum is). He's been trying crackers and snacks but he is so exhausted he hasn't stayed awake long enough to finish a whole lot.

Michael is also not too fond of his crib. Because he is so tall we need to put the rail to the top and then bring down the plastic curtain. It's a pretty sad cage - lol. Every time Jaron has tried laying him down he cries so the whole time he's been in Jarons arms in a pretty interesting recliner. They're not too bad if you don't have to stay sitting in them for 48 hrs straight. Jaron can let you know that once you reach 48 hrs you'd rather sit anywhere but there.

We've had some amazing family and friends helping us this week. Jarons mom and brother and sister have gone to relieve him of his duties (if Michael permits) and they've been supplying him lunches. My mom also stayed the night last night so Jaron could sleep at home which was a dream come true for him lol. It was pretty funny watching him lay down. He's still not out of be this morning.

Michaels Cardiologist went by the room with an update. His echo was good and his heart is the same as last month so there is no worry right now about this effecting his heart. His left lung is the thing giving him his troubles. His left lung is what is holding the bacterial pneumonia and is also barely able to pump any air. He is on heated high flow oxygen and doesn't seem to mind until his nose is being wiped. They are expecting to keep him for the next couple days to see if his left lung improves. I have yet to see my baby except over Skype on our phones. He hugs the phone and gives it kisses when he sees my face. I love this little man and cannot wait to be able to hold him and comfort him. I miss my baby so much.

Thank you for everyone's help and support through this week. It is not my favorite time but it's definitely not the worst of times. Heart Hugs and Kisses from you Cardiac baby and Fam. We love you all.

Echos and Updates

I've been meaning to write an update on Michaels last Cardiology update and now I have two updates to write because I took so long to get the first one done. Michaels last Cardiology visit went pretty good for the most part but he refused to sit still for his Echo so they weren't able to get very good pictures of his heart. They even tried giving him the anxiety sedation which doesn't put him to sleep but made him act a little drunk. I felt bad for laughing at him so hard but he really enjoyed it. They got a few of the things they needed so that they were at least able to give us a little information. His heart looks ok, but not great. They are still watching the gradient through his mitral valve (the pressure build up of the blood that is trying to flow through it) and it seems pretty stable as it was the same as last time. They are also keeping an eye on the scar tissue build up from his open heart where they fixed his arch. The scar tissue built up on the inside and is borderline obstructive.  We may have to have that fixed or ballooned again in the future if it becomes a problem. They also decided that he is doing well enough that we can try taking him off his heart meds which is HUGE for me! That is four alarms I get to disable on my phone. He's almost weened off his last one and then in July they'll be sending us a heart monitor to see how he's doing off the meds.

Mike has a few new tricks up his sleeve that have me rolling on the floor. When he gets REALLY upset - he goes into downward facing dog. haha it cracks me up. He's also been climbing up and over everything he can. This includes Zoey and our dining room chairs. He is a little dare devil that loves to get into mischief.

 

He's also getting some pretty big curls. This kid is freaking adorable!

 

The Big One

Happy Birthday to my little heart warrior. It has been an amazing year. He made it through stronger. He has been showing great amounts of strength and energy these last few months. After he conquered the RSV virus he's been showing how tough he is. I was able to drive to Utah for a week to see my sisters and friends and was able to attend a beautiful wedding in Salt Lake. I had the two kids with me and they did surprisingly well on the drive to and from. I was definitely nervous about taking Michael that far away from Children's but also realized that he is doing amazing right now. I need to take advantage of these moments because I know it won't always be this easy. He had his first bloody nose while we were there and the only thing he was actually crying about was that I wouldn't let him down to play. I needed to get the bleeding to stop so that it didn't make a mess and to make sure that his blood thinners wouldn't play a part in excess bleeding. It eventually stopped and because he wanted down so badly we both had a good amount of blood on our clothes. 

Even with all the mess that made, he was able to make a bigger mess with the chocolate cake I made him on his First Birthday!

We had a great time at the park with our family celebrating his life and how far he's been able to carry himself. I made sure that after we sang "Happy Birthday" I sang out "and MANY MORE!"

On the day of his birthday (4-3-2013) he decided it was time to start climbing the stairs, turning around to get off the couch by himself, and I successfully switched him to regular milk. No More Formula!!! YAY!!!! He's still not too fond of sippy cups but I'm working on that as well.

Having this year come around was emotionally overwhelming. Looking back on this past year is hard to do. Knowing all that we've overcome and all that we will yet overcome makes me feel a little stronger and a little more proud of myself. 

We have Michaels next Cardiology follow-up on April 15th. We're praying for a good visit and that everything will look ok. During our last visit they mentioned taking Michael off his medications and putting him on another heart monitor for a month to see how he does while being off of them. We'll see how his echo goes and what they decide to do. I am definitely looking forward to removing the medications from our schedule. Wish us luck!