Friday, April 20, 2012

Paced Again

They were able to pace him back to a normal rhythm this morning, He is still hooked up to the pacing machine and they are about to do another echo on him. They are thinking his left atrium may be starting the arrhythmia, since his mitral valve is not functioning properly it is stretching the left atrium and causing higher pressure in there. If it is stretching, it continues to have a higher risk of putting him into this flutter. Learning about all this makes me not want to take him home. I want to put him back in Bryttney, he can live there for the rest of his life.  The electrophysiologists (rhythm specialists) are pretty sure he is going to flip back into flutter at some point. They are hoping the new medication will prevent it and are giving him an extra dose now that he is back in normal rhythm.
Bryt and I are having a hard time, this is a whole new set of problems stemming from the original problem. Even though his numbers look good and he tolerates the arrhythmia quite well, he can only last like that for a short time. I don't know what is going through either of our heads, I am just at a loss. We have no clue what the future holds, and have no idea what to prepare for.  My mother has always told me "everything you do prepares you for something else." I don't know if this is preparing me, or if this is what I have been prepared for. This is truly a test of patience and faith.
I have been in a lot of situations that are not ideal, but have always pulled through. I like to think I have been prepared to be strong enough to pull myself and my wife through this. We have had a lot of tears and frustration but I am trying to get as much as I possibly can out of this.  It does confirm my desire to want to make more of a difference in the world, and maybe that is one of the reasons we have been put in this situation. Maybe it is preparing both of us for something bigger and greater than ourselves. The nurses and doctors here are certainly making a difference in the world, and I am glad to meet such amazing and selfless people.
I think we are both handling this fairly well so far, neither of us are in constant tears, and we are both comfortable with the team of doctors we are working with. We each take our turn breaking down, but we are here to support each other through the tough times. It is hard to accept this new level of responsibility as 'normal.' Michael will have special needs and medication for a good chunk of his childhood. I look forward to the future when we can look back on this as a growing experience together. Thank you all for your support, we could not do this without everyone behind us %100 of the way.