Thursday, March 27, 2014


To be separated from your sick child and not be able to care for him/her is something I am all too familiar with. This is not the first time I've been sick while Michael is in the hospital but I am definitely hoping that it's the last. So much has happened these last couple weeks I'm going to try and keep it all in order.

We had Michaels follow up appointment last Monday. His Cardiologist was feeling positive that there are no changes since his last visit. Nothing is looking better but also nothing has gotten worse so we are happy with that news. He still had some edema in his lungs but it wasn't anything new that they were worried about and it didn't look like pneumonia to them.

Every month during the flu season we take him in for his RSV Synagis shot and every month we end up in the hospital from something he caught at the clinic while getting that shot. January 28th I decided not to take him in for the shot because I didn't want him to get sick again. Well it worked. We went through the whole month of February without any ER or Hospital visits. It was Fantastic!! We also got through most of March. After telling the Cardiologist about missing his shots and the progress we had he made me aware of how crucial it is that he has them and he was not very happy with me for missing them. Well.. He's not in the hospital with RSV but he is in the hospital.

Friday we took him in with Fever and cough. The Xray showed the same edema from Mondays apt so they still weren't concerned about pneumonia. We went home that night and by the next night his Fever spiked again. With Tylenol his fever spiked again and his heart rate was in the 190's which worried me. We took him in AGAIN ( I say that too much ) and they decided to admit him and got us in a room pretty quick. It's the first time we weren't in a Cardiac room and just in a general health unit. He'd been on oxygen since arriving and his fever came down after they gave him the correct dose of ibuprofen (turns out I didn't up his dose since he'd started growing). So that's why I couldn't keep his fever down. We slept the night Saturday night or Sunday night.. all my nights are getting all mixed up. I'm still not all the way better so I'm going to get a bit mixed up here and hopefully this doesn't come off by me rambling. Jaron took off Monday and Tuesday to stay with Mike but after I came home Monday night to be with Zoey and went to the doctor for myself. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling because I was so worried about Mike.

Tuesday morning I made my Dr apt and the Dr hooked me up to an IV right away and got some antibiotics in my system and also a pain killer to kick the migraine I'd picked up on top of the pneumonia that was about to kick me with full force. I've been in bed since with a killer cough. Some nights with uncontrollable chills that are followed by a high fever. I've been wearing this really cool Mickey Mouse face mask when I get up for meds or water and have been washing my hands so much that they've started to crack. Today I am feeling so much better but the stupid cough is still there. Emotions? Anger, sadness, guilt, totally pissed off! and then peace. Somehow it's all been followed by peace. Peace of mind. A calmness knowing that he's ok and that I'm ok. He knows I love him even though I can't be there to hold him after he gets deep suctioned for the twentieth time. Or that I can't be his pillow when his fever spikes and he has no energy to fight. Everything his mom was supposed to be there for has been replaced with the most wonderful people in the world. If he can't have his mom then he can have Jarons, and he can have mine. I can't say or express in anyway how grateful I am to have these two women in my life. They've given their time to us and have been there for Michael when I haven't been able to. I can't tell you how hard it is to have to take that step back and not be able to make that choice on my own. I can tell you that if I did have to make that choice on my own that I hope it would turn out the same way it did this week. As hard as it's been for us we've been so thoroughly taken care of by family and friends. Whether it be your time, your thoughts or your prayers... or your food, Thank you. Thank you so so much.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Couch Arrest

MIA - I feel like I've been fighting the urge to blog. Like I'm in denial about my situation being what it is. Day three. I'm so glad that my mom has been our only house guest these last few days. Michaels congestion never cleared up after the RSV diagnosis but he did get a little better before Christmas. We were able to see the family and enjoy the holidays before things got worse again.

Michael was doing a little better but still hadn't improved the way I thought he should have so I scheduled him an apt for the 28th. He had his next Synagis shot that morning and everything was pretty good other than his congestion. We then went to his pediatrician to see if he could get caught up on any of the shots he's been so behind on. His oxygen at that point was only at 84. They were going to send us to get X-rays because his lungs still sounded pretty cruddy but since his oxygen was so low they ended up sending us to the hospital instead. We were able to drive ourselves which was good and bad. We ended up waiting in the ER for two hours before being taken back to see a Dr. Michael was feeling better in the waiting room and wanted to play so bad with the other kids. In my head I was screaming because it was so packed with sick people. I didn't want him to get worse but I also felt horrible not letting him down to play. Jaron to the rescue! He got a little red wagon and set up his laptop with a movie for Mike. Yay for containment! Once we saw the Dr his oxygen was back up and he'd fallen asleep. We went back for X-rays and this is the first time ever that he's slept through them. He was diagnosed with pneumonia and we were sent home with antibiotic to fight it off. WOW! This kid catches everything.

Again, he was doing better other than some congestion so back to the pediatrician we went. I've been hoping to get him caught up on his vaccines. He's now 21 months old and still hadn't gotten his 12 month vaccines because he's been so sick. He got 6 shots that day. The champ is back! He cried for a moment but then just wanted to play. The hardest part of getting him his shots was getting his band-aids off. Of course now, a week after his shots he's been running a 103.5 fever for the past three days. It only drops when he's doubled up on Tylenol and Ibuprofen at the same time. If I let them wear off at all his fever just jumps back up. Getting the dishes done or the floor swept is an accomplishment when he's sick. Putting him down isn't an option. He works himself up so bad that he starts coughing and then throws up. I'd rather it not get to that point. So here we are. Mike asleep on my chest. Me laying on the couch, Zoey making messes with her "experiments" (She's so awesome) and My Little Ponies on in the background. Home sweet home. Doctoring up my guy in the comfort of my own home is a prize in itself. I'm so thankful that I can fight off this fever at home. A blessing in disguise.

With blessings surrounding us daily we forget the biggest blessings we've been given. The strength we've found in ourselves and the happiness we have with our kids. Whether healthy or sick, we still have our kids to love and hold and play with. I'm so thankful to have been blessed with these two amazing spirits that challenge and change me daily (for the better of course!)