Sweet Adrenaline

What a rush these last few days have been. I don't think I've ever been so busy in my entire life. We were told a few days ago that Michael was doing so well that they were looking to discharge him. Home? Yes! But wait.. I wasn't expecting this to come for a while still. Was the house ready? Were we ready? We began learning all we needed to from the nurses.

I began giving him his medications (4 in the morning and 3 at night). We watched 3 movies the hospital provides (Car Seat Safety, Crying Happens and CPR for Infants). We learned how to clean his incisions and bathe him. Then we had to learn how to remove his feeding tube AND replace it. So yesterday I got the opportunity to remove his feeding tube and then had to put it back in. I did it! There was screaming in my head the whole time but that didn't stop me. I never thought I'd have to shove something up my kids nose and hope that it went down correctly. There was only minimal crying from Michael and I apologized to him over and over again for having to do something so horrible to him. The nurse then taught us how to check the PH balance to make sure the tube was in his belly and not in his lungs.

I finally got to do all of those things I've been wanting to do but put off. Getting his new clean sheets and blankets in the cradle and put it next to the bed. Getting diapers and wipes in the rooms I'll need them in. Getting his bottles washed and ready. And went Crazy on sanitizing everything.

The day had come. We were bringing our sweet angel home. We spent yesterday morning going back and forth from the pharmacy making sure they had the correct medications for us and making sure they were going to start having them in stock (because they didn't yesterday). We got to the hospital and started going over information with the nurses and financial office and poor Zo was exhausted. I'm sure when she heard we were bringing Michael home she had no idea what it entailed. We got him set in his car seat and started to head out of the building. I don't think I've ever been more aware of the people I was coming in contact with. I wanted to hide him from everyone on our way out - just so they didn't breathe in his direction. I found myself wishing for a plastic bubble to put him in. Why didn't the Dr's give us a bubble? I realized after I got home that I was happy without the bubble but that wasn't going to stop me from cleaning everything.

This morning I realized that I only get two hours of sleep between each feeding. With his feeding tube it takes an hour for the whole  2 1/2 ounces to go through. Jaron went to work and so did I. This is definitely a full time job. I finally thought I was getting the hang of things until this evening. Michael pulled out his feeding tube. Yikes. Adrenaline ran through me so fast I got a stomach ache. I thought for a minute that the last thing I gave him through the tube was his Amioderone (his heart medication that is keeping his rhythm out of the flutter - A very sensitive medication) If that was the last thing I gave him and didn't flush his tube that means the medication is still in the tube - Not in him. It took me a few moments to realize that I had flushed his tube with the milk he didn't finish through his bottle. Instant stomach ache. I will Never give him his heart medication last again. He can't miss a dose of this medication or we risk him going back into flutter which means straight back to the hospital for who knows what.

The first day home was in some ways a success. I feel very accomplished but still very nervous. Tomorrow I'll be a busy bee again and already have a ton of calls to make for getting his feeding tube placed back in. Of course they didn't send us home with the wire we need to replace it so wish us luck. Bottles and Nursing only tonight. Yikes!